The hypersexualization of trans women in the media has painted harmful images in the minds of straight and gay people alike. The narrative of the pitiful, castrated transsexual is force-fed to us via blockbuster movies, award-winning television shows and--big surprise--pornographic films. 

Don’t get me wrong, porn is awesome. It allows people to explore their likes and dislikes from the comfort and security of their own home. Trans-friendly porn is even better because it empowers trans sex workers to take control of their image, while also putting money directly in their pockets. In addition to it being a form of survival, porn provides trans people with the confidence to love their bodies, explore their sexuality, and reclaim power in a male-dominated industry. For trans and cis people alike, porn can ease the road toward sexual self acceptance. The problem comes in the way in which trans sex workers are manipulated by big-name porn companies to push an agenda that ultimately demonizes the lesser privileged members of the community. 

For many men, porn has constructed the foundation on which their beliefs about trans women lie. Porn pushes an inaccurate agenda that ultimately leads to the mistreatment, harassment, and rape of trans women. It is a capitalistic industry that buys the minds of its customers and, in return, sells them falsities about the world and the people around them. Through it, men are conditioned to believe that trans women are tools of sexual pleasure as opposed to human beings. They assign machine-like qualities to the actresses in order to dehumanize them. Used to get the alpha male off, then violently discarded like a cum rag, the women in these films serve as *the* trans representation that is so apparently absent from cis men’s everyday lives. 

It is no secret that the presence of toxic masculinity and fetish culture in porn has influenced negative attitudes toward trans women. 2019 has already seen at least 15 trans women killed at the hands of law enforcement officers, random street walkers, and trusted lovers. Many people in the trans community attribute the violence they experience to the negative tropes that are so prevalent in porn. Oftentimes, cis men use porn to satiate their lust for trans women, without adopting a true respect or appreciation for the women they sleep with. This reckless concoction of manipulation, ignorance, and insecurity almost always leaves the trans woman having to defend her emotions or, in more drastic cases, her life. 

There is no telling how many murders go unseen, unheard, or unnoticed due to intimate partner violence. Men who violate trans women, out of fear or malice, tend to be craven in their desires. Systemic transphobia allows for them to get away with their reckless actions against trans women, due to the high rates of poverty and lack of job opportunities that plague the community. These are the women who are left defenseless and vulnerable as a result of living on the street. Sexual violence is a direct result of the heinously transphobic depictions of trans women throughout history. This makes things especially difficult for trans sex workers who have to deal with the most volatile behavior that cis men have to offer. Sometimes forced by these men to live up to the skewed expectations of a porn-minded society, trans women experience the violence that comes from fulfilling fantasies and providing pleasure. Body shaming and festishistic rhetoric are used as tools to promote the idea that trans women only exist to pleasure, and cannot be pleasured themselves. 

Trans porn that is produced by a predominantly-cis group of executives often fails to recognize the fact that trans girls cum too. The focus is so often placed on the male actor’s orgasm that it almost becomes silly for them to consider their sexual partner’s pleasure. We are often portrayed as being passive participants in sex, letting our own pleasure take the backseat. Medically-transitioning trans women sometimes have to battle the conundrum of functionality, the ability to get up and get off, which sometimes leads to our partners completely disregarding our needs. But make no mistake: trans girls cum too! I have had many a ‘SMH’ moment with cis male sexual partners who completely disregard my desires or fail to inquire about what makes me feel good, because that’s what they see in the porn they watch. Yikes. 

Trans-centric porn that promotes the individuality of our bodies, rather than subscribing us to restrictive archetypes or standards, helps to promote the idea that trans people can be active in their sexual practices, just as cis people are. 

Additionally, trans women are held to much higher standards of beauty due to pornographic depictions. The women in these videos tend to embody the stereotypical porn star image of big boobs, large butts, and a generally “passable” appearance. These facets can undermine trans women who do not have access to these particular methods of transition, causing them to become a target. The women who do not fit this mold of acceptability are particularly vulnerable and are sometimes shamed for not looking, or being, “trans enough.”

All in all, porn can be used as a gateway for violence against trans women. It can feed the existent hatred that lies in the hearts, and in between the legs, of the cis men who lay with us. There’s nothing wrong with getting off to the image of a trans woman. In fact, I encourage it. We’re hot as hell! But don’t allow society to fuel your fabricated expectations of the trans women around you. Instead of feeding so heavily into the digital image of a hyper-sexualized trans narrative, trans-attracted people should just pursue open and honest relationships with us. Or just donate to our OnlyFans and keep it pushing. 

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Ivana Fischer is the Culture Editor of WUSSY and a film and media enthusiast who specializes in cultural studies. You can find her across all socials @iv.fischer

PHOTO: CarlosDavid.org / iStock

Generational trauma and the legacy of slavery has plagued the Black community. Day by day, Black people are experiencing higher rates of sexual violence, mass incarceration, and murder. We have dealt with the effects of overt racism within our social institutions. We have been belittled on political and economic levels. We continue to peril at the hands of the law in unimaginable ways. During Enslavement, throughout the Jim Crow era, and beyond, racial prejudice has been the source of the violence and death Black people face. So why is it that Black people inflict these same destructive behaviors onto other Black people? 

Queerphobia is a consistent issue within the Black community due to the eras of conditioning and socialization we have been put through. From being sold as property to being used as machinery, and having our rights stripped away at every step of the way, Blacks have adopted a double consciousness. As defined by W. E. B DuBois, this conflicted sense of self often causes Black people to deviate from any labels that would “other” us any further. These attitudes are perpetuated in Black homes across the world today. It is no secret that Black households produce some of the largest numbers of disowned teens and young adults. What might seem like a mere coming out to the rest of the world, could be a devastatingly dismal invitation for ignorance, hatred, and fear in the eyes of a Black family. To be Black and queer is so wonderful, but equally as difficult. In our eyes, it could be the icing on the cake of the reasons why we are targeted in our day-to-day lives. 

 The structures of masculinity and femininity, and the roles assigned to these characteristics, are so prevalent within Black households that many Black people share the experience of gender policing. Queer and trans Black people around the world likely share the experience of having homophobic and/or transphobic family members. Feeding into the dog-eat-dog mentality that has been placed onto us, Black people innately perpetuate stereotypes against the more marginalized members of our community. More Black trans women lose their lives at the hands of Black men than any other racial minority. It is common for cis Black women to tout homophobic rhetoric, keeping Black men from expressing themselves authentically. This, in turn, can lead to violence on behalf of the Black men that feel the need to conceal themselves for acceptance. Moreover,  A queer identity is seen as more of a weakness, or target on your back, than a state of being. That’s why many Black people have volatile reactions to coming to terms with their sexuality. That’s why homophobia/transphobia within the community has persisted until this day. That’s why the rate of trans homelessness is much higher in the Black community than any other community. 

These and many other dilemmas continue to affect the Black community. Just as slavery and systemic oppression has taken centuries to burrow these destructive mindsets into the fabric of our being, it will take an equal amount of time to unlearn these behaviors and strive toward a better, more inclusive future. Never be afraid to call out your family members and close friends on their homophobia and/or transphobia. For some, it could be a matter of life and death.

Watch as Culture Editor Iv Fischer dismantles the motives behind queerphobia within the Black community. 

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Ivana Fischer is the Culture Editor of WUSSY and a film and media enthusiast who specializes in cultural studies. You can find her across all socials @iv.fischer

PHOTO: Carly Hoogendyk

Arti Gollapudi is at her most unhinged. This she happily admits to herself and to the whole, entire internet so it’s not exactly a secret. In fact, besides producing, writing, and starring in a series of her own shows in NYC, which include the incomparable “Boogie on the Brink” and “Your Body, Yourself,” Arti has a whip smart internet presence that has people in her DMs asking for advice on grief while simultaneously wondering who she’s dating. 

When I first met Arti, I was fangirling hard as I’d already read about her in The Huffington Post and wanted to tell her how much I appreciated, as a woman and an abuse survivor, what she was doing artistically. She had just spent the day high at MOMA with a mutual friend, and my outpouring of thanks was met with a confused, stoned “is this bitch for real?” kind of look which totally tracks. After seeing “Boogie on the Brink” months later, I was convinced: if comedy is an art form, then Arti has a paintbrush that is tye-dye and screaming. 

After comparing natal charts, she sat down with me at a loud-ass hipster coffee shop in Bushwick to discuss everything from her upcoming book of poems, Boys I’ve Kissed and Hated, to how she makes grief and trauma exceptionally funny and relatable, to discussing pee farting in front of the people she’s romantically interested in. 

PHOTO: Bridget Badore

Your shows are like none other. How would you describe an Arti Gollapudi show to someone who'd never seen one? 

A lot of chaos. A lot of screaming. A lot of emotions. I am a cancer with a gemini moon so what else do you expect? It's a lot of me telling the audience secrets which is funny because I have a hard time emoting myself to people I am entangled with, yet for some reason I am perfectly fine getting up on stage and discussing pee farting in front of my crush.

How did you get into comedy? And how do you feel like your gender identity and queerness add to what you do? 

So, I [had] a bit of a ride into comedy. I went to school for music, came to NYC to work in the "industry," got in a relationship that made me feel fully stuck, saved my coins, took an improv class and remembered I liked performing. It took another 6 months and [I] met my best friend, Ryan, who encouraged me to perform and I kind of began but never got into it or thought about it professionally until I decided to move in with him and our friend Julian. I dipped out of my abusive relationship while I took a deep dive into performing more stand up and weird bits.

I feel like I never fully came into queerness until I began grieving. My gender and queerness was something I held tightly to my chest until I had a snap moment [when] I kind of [had] to be honest with my needs and wants and my public identity. Once I was more public about things, I felt my writing and performance opened up.

Why do you think it's important to bring grief and trauma to the forefront of comedy? 

I know I am not out here saving the rainforest or ending capitalism. I know it's not for everyone, but for those whom it is for, it matters to me that they know they aren't alone in having these experiences and feelings. Grief and trauma have internally ripped into me but have also recreated me. I think if you are able to go to a comedy show and find a sense of joy while a comedian discusses trauma and grief, that's perseverance.

PHOTO: Bridget Badore

Tell us a little about your upcoming book. How is it different from your first? 

This book repurposes a title for my first zine called Boys I've Kissed & Hated

The initial project was about cataloging my sexual experiences -- before, during, and after abuse [and] rape. These poems don't discuss my abuse directly, but instead paint portraits of constant romantic and sexual failure that ended up being really healing and eye-opening experiences. My new book does the same but expands beyond romantic failure into dealing with grief. This book features longer narratives and opens up about my general anxiety and depression. And, at the bottom of it all, it’s also a funny book.

Why did you decide to write this book? 

One thing that keeps me afloat is laughing at the dumb shit I constantly feel and do. I think the more I learn to laugh about these things, the more I can get through them. Writing this all down helps me communicate with people and reach out to people without having to be in a physical space. In times when I have felt most alone and most misunderstood, I have had books to read to help me feel less so. I just hope [that] maybe my writing can one day do the same.

What do you hope to use your platform for? What are your big plans for the future? 

I hope my platform can create dialogue that can inspire action to create change, even on an interpersonal level. Maybe make people be a little nicer and think about how everyone is going through crazy shit. But also I hope people walk away, specifically from Boys I've Kissed & Hated, inspired to kiss strangers and stay out late with friends and have fun being a little messy even when people tell us we're too old to do so.

Arti will be having her wild, exclusively all-jammies book release party September 19th at Kickstarter in NYC. For updates on her show schedule, follow @artiparty on Instagram and Twitter. For her poetry, follow @artifartypoems on Instagram. 

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Dakota Smith is a poet, journalist, and right in the damn center of the Kinsey scale.
Follow her on Twitter: @Likethestates.

Photo: Charles Ludeke

“I am a producer and DJ who focuses on creating and presenting music that has a resonating emotional core to it. I am also a girl who is finally living her life as she’s always wanted and is elated by that fact everyday.”

Maya Bouldry-Morrison, known in the DJ world as Octo Octa, emits an ethereal energy that transcends the role of new darling of deep house and into a universal reverberation of conjuring love and hope. Her music reaches more spiritual and permeating moods with each release and her latest Resonant Body LP is truly a testament of Maya’s communal acosmic stream of contented flow. With organic live engagement, Octo Octa lights up dance floors and festivals with a creative fire that has such a free-flowing tenderness and a zest for bliss, one can not help but open to the movement she weaves into beats, samples, waves of joy. And alongside employing a genuine spirit as an electronic music creator, Maya is a polyamorous, pansexual, transgender woman who likes cute things, being cute and, above all, is facilitating more loving spaces through the gift of sound.

Hailing from New Hampshire with a presence in Brooklyn, Octo Octa’s traction through word-of-mouth and SF-based queer label HNYTRX gained the artist not only an intense jumpstart but an opportunity of self-exploration. “At the time of first touring and playing shows, I was still hiding in a public sense which made me feel like I couldn’t be in those spaces. Now that I’m involved in it, I understand that wasn’t necessarily true, but it took me being involved to finally realize,” Maya remembers. “Working with HNYTRX and queer promoters since coming out let me engage in spaces where I finally didn’t have to keep my guard up. It gave me power and I see those parties giving others power as well which is the most important thing.” Maya’s mingle with the queer dance scene has become a welcomed home she had searched for since her earliest public works in 2011, noting “it’s the community I was desperate for since I was a teenager and came into my sexuality”. 

In this jam-packed year, Octo Octa’s third album Resonant Body was recorded in her NH cabin after a year of constant touring and the release of earlier 2019 For Lover’s EP. Resonant Body is the second release from the T4T LUV NRG label Maya co-runs with beloved DJ Eris Drew, a partnership WUSSY has been excited to watch grow as this heartwarming queer power duo further their teamwork truimphs. Maya and Eris not only run on the sparkle of dancefloor sweat and smiles, with touches of how the interpersonal can be revolutionary and reviving, they bring a sense of bravery to the dancefloor with a sense of positivity and purity, the power of love. 

“Danceable music has a particular power that I think is very important in the world and is something that hopefully more people can incorporate into their lives since it engages your body in a way atypical of how the world wants you to interact in public,” Maya muses. “Dancing is freeing, however that is for you. That freedom is what I chase, seek, and attempt to communicate with every piece of music I make, with every live performance I play, and every DJ set I spin. Dance music let me express myself before I was out and club spaces are where I first engaged in public as the person I am today. I hope more people can find that for themselves.” 

Photo: Charles Ludeke

Openers “Imminent Spirit Animal” and “Move Your Body” affronts the listener with high energy, an almost acid house vibe, and within a swoop into “Deep Connections”, Maya’s dreamy energy takes over, coaxing the listener into a deep primal peace. Octo Octa has a way of mixing cream-crop 90’s ambient coolness to a most wild neu-queer club metric without being frantic, building layers of release with precision. Conjuring soundspheres with a touch of past Euro flair akin to Aphex Twin or Orbital, Octo Octa is pure divinity. Maya’s elegant elongation of each track’s flow has brought many house lovers to states of cocooned delight and trance-like glee with roots in house, rave, and techno. Perhaps it’s been perfected as a long practice:  Maya has been producing primarily electronic music for over 15 years since the young age of 14, saying “I’ve spent over half my life chasing the sense of creativity and ecstatic release I find in dance music”. In Octo Octa’s music, a communicated cohesion is certainly spoke. Maya’s passion is very clear to the listener and especially any audience present at one of her sets. Resonant Body is able to fully let listener afar experience this for themselves. 

50% profits of Resonant Body will be donated to the Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) “which works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression, regardless of income or race, and without facing harassment, discrimination, or violence”. Follow Octo Octa on Spotify, Soundcloud, and Instagram.

Photographer: Hannah Carpenter

A sheet-clad Maya Deren Meshes of the Afternoon Muppet tromps thru the trash of a California alleyway, barreling toward LA-based GUPPY, carooned in ‘70’s dad gear. The video for “420 7/11 (I Love You, But You’re Bringing Me Down)” is ultra groovy, amping a cartoonish psychedelic plotline complete with an evil slushie antagonist, perfectly complimenting Guppy’s campy charm. “By the end of the song, the band has learned to harness the power of the puppet for good and now he is their newest member,” lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist Julia explains, adding, “Honestly, this song is about a hallucinogenic experience I had standing in line at a 7/11, so I wanted the video to reflect the chaotic, mundane and dreamy nature of that.” 

Transforming from Abba-clad to Hot Topic Goth after befriending the Dark-Crystal-on-crystal-meth mutant, one could interpret “420 7/11” as the concept of ‘if looking long enough into the monster, the monster looks into you’. Either way, following the recent release of  “Sentimental”, “420 7/11” has a punchy energy entirely appropriate as the opening anthem for Guppy’s upcoming In Heat LP. The 8-track album is a collection of genre-less goodness bound to find listeners bopping along, track by track like a different adventure in Pete and Pete with an extra dose of teen angst. 

Growing from Julia’s bedroom pop project Therapy Dog to a full DIY outfit (Gabi taught themself to play drums from YouTube tutorials), the backstory of three film students in Boston binding together for unbridled kicks led Julia, Marc and Gabi relocating to the West Coast. Though earlier press references Guppy as a trio, Michael started performing as second guitarist after Guppy’s first handful of shows. He was already a strong presence with the group since he recorded the 2017 In The Garage EP literally in a garage. “Because of the quick and DIY nature of that original recording, Michael ended up throwing some vocals on a few tracks as well as guitar on one track. Once we started playing those songs live, we realized it just wasn’t the same without him pretty early on,” Julia says of their 4th full fledged member. “I was sleeping on Julia and Marc’s couch on and off for about two months while the songs were being written and I brought a whole mess of amps and mics down I had at my folks place up in San Francisco to set up the garage as a jam space. Someone just gifted us a drum set and we were kind of off to the races,” Michael adds. “We decided to wait for the hottest week of the summer to record in that sweat box of a garage. I think we were trying to have people smell us through the recordings.”

Guppy’s sass is in many ways an endearing exorcism of energetic rage, pom-pomed in the prettiness of tweepop touches that revolve around Marc’s driving bass lines and Gabi’s riot grrrl beats. As a 4-piece promenade of spit in a whirwind of raunchy riffage within wild-hearted rock’n’roll hymns, the undoubtable 90s-influence has no bearing on Guppy’s unique sound that is all their own. Sure, this queer-led band veers between the bitchy kitsch of “Hollywood Rejection” to the softling wist of “Cactus Dreams”, but Guppy as a group has become a more actualized satellite of indie ditties no matter the tone of each track. Guppy may be a weird bird not of taste to all but that’s the last thing they are trying to be. For those who vibe, the underlying spirit of fun, a pure and precious punk ethos, on top of driven rock riffs and playful lyrics, finds a friendship in Guppy’s tinsel strewn junk food caravan of cowboys with eyerolls. And lucky for Guppy, the group is finding better spaces in which they are more able to thrive with like-minded folx.  

Cover artist: Reed Hexamer

“There are a lot of queer artists and bookers that we’ve been connected with through actively seeking out queer and queer friendly communities. For me, it is just very important that I be playing in a space where I feel comfortable and safe in my queer identity,” Julia explains of LA’s musical landscape, expressing deep appreciation for Rosie Tucker, Sleezehog Productions, Greg Katz, Ally from Get Better Records as just a few who created welcoming receptive pathways. “When we first started playing and we were kind of just accepting a lot of gigs without finding a community, I definitely had to compromise this value. I’m eternally grateful to all the queer and ally artists + bookers that have empowered me to demand that safer space for us to perform and for our fans to enjoy our music.” 

GUPPY’s In Heat LP debuts October 4th after their performance at the Hi Hat Los Angeles the eve before. Follow Guppy on Bandcamp, Spotify and Soundcloud.

What happens when three individually versatile artists come together to make an eventful evening of fresh and fierce fashion with a communal cause? Multi-dimensional artist and musician Vogds, the ultra-intentional couturier Sky Cubacub of Rebirth Garments and street fashion extraordinaire Compton Q (above) melded minds to design pieces and make music for the extraordinary experience of diverse joy known as Radical Visibility Collective. After a successful 2018 show, the inspired Part Two received a welcoming reception at Co-Prosperity Sphere in Chicago, a city that has boasted some of our favorite queer forward-thinkers in the past decade. As the video below shows, RVC2 aimed and accomplished to create a loving environment for the models and performers to celebrate themselves in futuristic fashions surrounded by friends. The event was further enhanced by a collection of new tracks made in inspiration for this show, curated and produced by Vogds. 

RVC2’s collaborative communion was not just an act of unveiling new design work but a means to show what fashion can look like and who it can be for. While carrying the familiarities of their previous collection, RVC2 continued to uphold the group’s values, much which has further developed from Sky’s Manifesto, for their recent August event. “We make fashion for the full spectrum of gender, size, and ability; focusing on forwarding people with disabilities, fats, femmes, POC, queers, and nonbinary folx,” Vogds explains. “One of our strongest ideologies is to be radically visible in space via color/design/etc, to stand out against mundanity, everyday identity-oppression, and the evils of our current political situation while fighting for accessibility, gender expression, and sex-positivity. The future is QueerCrip, so get used to it and come dance with us!”

Photos: ColectivoMultipolar Models: Miss Alexis, Gabriel Anaya, Kennedy

Custom-made clothing was showcased on over a half dozen models and clients, many who are producers, singers, rappers and beyond. As an intensive effort for the trio, all of which have their own artistic pathways to navigate and attend to, Rebirth Garments’ first full time employee Calla Bordie graciously helped with the construction of the outfits. “Since Compton is about to go to grad school at Central St. Martins and Vogds was focusing on the music, Calla and I fabricated and patterned all the garments, with a few exceptions,” Sky said of the process. “Vogds patterned their garment and fabricated it with Calla assisting and Compton patterned and fabricated their outfit, Gabriel's Scarf and Chris' crutch fins poufs.” 

Photos: ColectivoMultipolar Models: Makayla, C'est Kevvie, Juju Minxxx, Christopher McGuire

Additionally Sky made a secondary “ready to wear” line featuring prints Compton and model Gabriel Anaya designed. “For this collection, I wanted to channel my love for Shōjo anime and manga in which queerness and expression through fashion combine to create these awesomely powerful and sensitive warriors," muses Compton, whose own aesthetic creations are rich with imagination and influence. The RVC symbol popped up in redesigned formats and the blend of shades from the first collection (pink, purple and blue) and the recent second collection (orange, lime, neon yellow with black and white patterns) formed together for a jubilee of vibrance. 

Photos: ColectivoMultipolar Models: Sky Cubacub, Vogds, Compton Q.

An event especially amped by dancing, the soundtrack provided by Vogds was another intensive collaboration that added a layer of excitement and energy as a major presence in the show. Indie artists that were part of the shows also collaborated on the RVC2 EP, such as dominatrix rapper Juju Minxxx on "Axxxess Butch" and plus-size trans model and queen C'est Kevvie on "Chromophilia”. The ethereal dreamstress Afroshoujo added their own flair to the soundscapes with Sky Cubacub on “QueerCrip Power”. Sky created a zine of the lyrics to be accessible for deaf and hard of hearing folx along with “Access Bitch” and “Access Butch” sticker designs by Katherine Grace Eremia (attendees also signed an Access Pledge when purchasing).

Read more about the clothing process in our interview with Sky Cubacub. Vogds will be featured in WUSSY’s Vol. 7 print issue with Violet Chachki which can be pre-ordered here.

A book like Hustling Verse is long overdue.  Co-edited by Amber Dawn and Justin Ducharme, the anthology is the first of its kind, a collection of poetry from more than fifty sex workers from across the globe. There are few anthologies with its finger on the pulse of the street quite like Hustling Verse. There are even fewer books vibrating with this level of urgency and necessity to be read.

The collection offers an unflinching look at the spirit and resilience of sex workers, a group of marginalized people deemed invisible by mainstream society. The poets unabashedly share themselves in the work. The writers refuse to be dismissed and rightfully insists on being seen.

“Every time a sex worker writes a poem; we transcend all the harms that have been done to our stories. Every time a sex worker writes a poem, we rise above subjugation.” says Amber Dawn.

The work often employs vulnerability, humor, lyric, irony, and unique styles to address the seriousness and gravity of the poet’s reality. Even the forms of these poems exhibit their own wildness and demand attention. Jaene F. Castrillon’s poem A Celebration of Darkness uses direction, capitalization, and numerical breaks to create a participatory reading of the piece, inciting a deeper level of engagement. Akira the Hustler’s Excerpts from A Whore Diary embodies the fragmentary nature of its subject, piecing together experience through recollection. Jaye Simpson’ godzilla (2014) toys with and repeats a sound and phrase until it morphs and recontextualizes its relationship with the reader. In these poems, the shape of the text breathes new meaning into its words, going beyond the mainstream of formal poetry and thriving in the fringes of language.

These poems bear witness, one of the most powerful gifts writing can give. The experiences are palpable, each new poet delivering their unfiltered truth, their magic woven intrinsically into the pages.  “When people are given the reins to tell their stories in the way they choose, it has an extreme impact on the way they navigate the world, the way they value themselves.” says Justin Dumarche.

One poem can be red-hot and bring tears to your eyes, like Gregory Scofield’s the dancer (club mix), harmonizing sultry rhythm throughout a lamenting ballad. Another poem can be writhing on the page and evoke holiness, like kiran anthony foster’s beatitudes, incorporating the biblical verses inside of a brutal familial narrative. Dawn puts it best, “We can embody a dozen personas a night. We can spin the five senses into divinity. Our very bodies act as bridges between the mundane and the fantastic.”

This book belongs in the hands of lovers of poetry, survivors of trauma, connoisseurs of sex, advocates of human rights, cravers of raw artistry, and desirers of writing dripping wet with vibrancy and honesty. Amber Dawn and Justin Ducharme along with the contributors have created a resource for healing, courage and empowerment as well as a source of understanding, empathy and visibility.  Hustling Verse is a collection that more than deserves its space on your book shelf, so make room.

About the editors:

Amber Dawn is the author of the novels Sodom Road Exit (2018) and Sub Rosa (winner of a Lambda Literary Award, 2010); the Van­couver Book Award–winning How Poetry Saved My Life: A Hustler’s Memoir (2013); and the Dorothy Livesay Poetry Prize–nominated collection Where the words end and my body begins (2015). She teaches creative writing at Douglas College in Vancouver and leads several low-barrier community writing classes.

Justin Ducharme is a filmmaker, writer, dancer, and curator from the small Métis community of St. Ambroise in Treaty 1 Territory. He is a graduate from Vancouver Film School and the writer/director of three short narrative films. He has been jigging since the age of seven, performing with the St. Ambroise Youth Steppers and the Louis Riel Métis Dancers. His poetry has been featured in Sex Worker Wisdom and PRISM international magazine. He lives and works on unceded Coast Salish Territory.

Amber Dawn and Justin Ducharme will be launching Hustling Verse at the Lambda LitFest in Los Angeles, September 25th. Hustling Verse will be available October 2019.

Nicholas Goodly is the writing editor of Wussy Magazine.

At the heart of Kissing Walls, a queer romantic comedy web series, queer friendships are the real love story. A mix of Broad City meets Looking, Kissing Walls follows the shenanigans of two best friends, Cameron and James, living together in Chicago trying to make their artistic dreams a reality, and figuring out millennial dating life one butthole pic at a time. 

Based on the real friendship of co-creators and lead actors, Zak Payne and Nathaniel Tenenbaum, Kissing Walls showcases how important friendships are in the queer community and how the bonds we share with chosen families can outlast the romances we encounter. Combining real-life inspiration with playful humor, Zak and Nathaniel bring their perspective as queer POC men to the genre of romantic comedy, making characters who would typically be relegated to subplots to driving and leading the show’s narrative. 

Recognized for its fresh perspective, Kissing Walls has garnered the attention of critics and film festivals alike. Season 1 was selected for IFP’s 2016 Screen Forward Lab in New York, and later screened at the Brooklyn Bridge Park. It was also selected to screen at various festivals including the 2017 SeriesFest in Denver, the 2018 Chicago International Television Festival, as well the 2018 Frameline Film Festival in San Francisco.

With the recent drop of Kissing Walls’ season two premiere, we sat down with Zak and Nathaniel, to discuss their behind the scenes collaboration, the creative dynamic of queer friendships, and how the show is a snapshot of millennial queer dating life.

Kissing Walls sets itself apart as being a web series that puts POC queer narratives to the foreground, rather than having them relegated as a subplot. As creators and actors, what was it like to lead and collaborate on a project that reflected your personal experiences as someone who is both POC and queer?

[ZAK]: When we started Kissing Walls, I just moved to Chicago and I wanted to make something that could tap into the lens I was looking through, which is queer. The people I surround myself with aren’t straight white dudes. It’s like, “What if I took these friends that I’ve made and myself and develop the show into a queer romantic comedy?”

I can only count the shows on a hand where there’s more than one LGBT person in the cast: Looking, Queer as Folk, Will & Grace, the L Word, a few others.

Certainly, when we started season one – compared to season two – it became a whole different landscape. I started writing Kissing Walls in 2015 and things have changed so rapidly in the last four years. I feel like streaming services have really opened the doors. The gatekeepers that we had with network television has passed and now it feels more democratic and it’s like, these are people that I want to see on tv! Audiences and studios are opening up to this idea that we can have all of these people.

[NATHANIEL]: I need to take a step back and take a moment whenever we’re shooting, writing, or imaging what the season will be because I realize that this opportunity doesn’t happen very often. I want to take advantage of experiencing telling our stories together, Zak and me. Like we’re living and breathing the exact same thing we are portraying on film. It’s otherworldly.

There are a lot of exciting plots that happen in season two. One is Zak’s character, Cameron, exploring and hooking up with an open couple, Guy and Mike. I think there are many queer millennials who can relate to Cameron’s arc, seeing him maneuver and figure out his place in a couple’s open relationship. What interested you (Zak) the most in tackling and discussing open relationships?

[ZAK]: They’re relationships I hadn’t seen on screen much, but something that I have encountered in my own my romantic life. It’s not the same in heterosexual dating, where there’s a boyfriend and girlfriend, period – for the most part. But if you look at queer dating, there are friends with benefits, lovers, partners, etc.

The inspiration for Cameron’s arc wasn’t so much me being like, “I’m really into polyamory.” It came more from this place of, “This is just how dating is.” Dating for us is a bit more fluid, a bit more open. It’s something I haven’t seen portrayed often on screen. If Kissing Walls is a queer romantic comedy, then I want to have it (open relationships) on the show.

James is a character we don’t see represented much in queer media: a gay femme bear. It’s exciting to watch a show and see a character like James push and lead the narrative. Nathan, what attracted you to taking on the role of James and what was your favorite scene to film?

[NATHANIEL]: Characters like James do happen on stage and film, but they’re never there for more than a couple of minutes broken up throughout a play or movie. Jumping into James and allowing him to take up the space was freeing for me. I loved every minute of it.

I especially enjoyed doing the ‘meet cute’ scene in the flower shop with his love interest, Benjamin. I never get to be Drew Barrymore, Reece Witherspoon, or Minnie Driver and have meet cutes in a flower shop. It just doesn’t happen. It really felt so cute, and so girl-next-door, and I love we can convey that energy on the show and still keep it me. I think it was so special and fun. I want little chubby, Jewish, gay, queer, early balding babies like me to really see themselves in those moments. You don’t have to look like Drew Barrymore, or Reece Witherspoon, or Minnie Driver. Or hope that someone sees you like that. Just go out and get your meet cute.

A lot of Kissing Walls reminds us how queer circles are made of these larger and growing chosen families. Both Cameron and James are like siblings to each other and ground and support the other. How have your chosen families pushed and inspired you as artists?

[ZAK]: When I moved to Chicago, I didn’t have any related or blood family. But the first friends I made immediately became my family … especially when I needed an air mattress and half a bunch of other things (laughs). It’s like, “Okay, these new friends that I’m making were able to provide these things and give me advice for how to navigate Chicago.” Pretty quickly, I realized how important those friendships are and how they evolve into a family. I knew that was something that has always been an important facet of the queer community. I knew this is something that needs to be showcased on the show.

[NATHANIEL]: I think that speaks volumes to how important the chosen family has become for queer people. I don’t believe in the phrase, “Blood is thicker than water.” Especially in the queer community, for some that doesn’t exist, and our chosen family is all that we have. Zak and I have a bond as siblings and we call each other sisters - not in the queer sense, but legit sisters, like we shared the same womb. We call each other sisters and we feel that translates on the show. 

It’s the goal of the series for most of the actors and the crew to be from our chosen family. They’re like family and we talk to each other all the time. Zak and I can’t imagine doing an entire season without the same team we used from the season before. You see this all the time with artists like John C. Reilly, Will Ferrell, and Molly Shannon or the Duplass Brothers. We want that cinematic family and sense of chosen family throughout.

It’s like a chosen family fuels creative energy in a way related or blood family can’t. Even for queers who aren’t involved in the arts, or are creatives, chosen family fuels some kind of energy in their life. 

[NATHANIEL]: Yes, exactly!

Kissing Walls has covered a lot of ground in its 2 seasons. Tackling topics on sexuality, gender norms, and body image, and it’s celebrated queer friendships in a really playful way. What can we expect for a tentative season 3?

[ZAK]: I want to continue to expand on Cameron and James’ dynamic and show how important it is to have to have a friendship like theirs. Definitely focus more on their love lives and obstacles they’re figuring out.

And continuing to ground the series in some kind of reality we are in. It’s difficult to make work as a filmmaker and be blind to our political situation: climate change, gun violence, and I could list of twenty things we’re all aware of going on. It’s part of this wave of anxiety that is impossible to escape from. Like when James and Benjamin – the guy he’s dating – are having their date night, walking down the street, and oh look there’s Trump Tower. Nobody really talks about it in the city, but it’s this thing that’s hanging over you. It’s very ominous.

I hate to make it so dark (laughs) but it’s like I have a cast of queer characters and I don’t think I could make the same carefree white privilege heterosexuality kind of blend we’ve seen before. I want to continue to ground it in some kind of reality. Whatever the struggle, I don’t want to make it up. I think there’s enough struggles to go around.

You can watch episodes, including seasons one and two, of Kissing Walls by visiting the show’s home page on OTV’s landing site. For more updates on Kissing Walls, follow @witchhousepr on Instagram.

This interview was edited and condensed for clarity.

Portrait of A Lady on Fire by Céline Sciamma

The OUT ON FILM Festival returns September 26 and runs to October 6, offering a variety of screenings at multiple venues around Atlanta. It promises to showcase a celebration of queer life in all dimensions. For its 32nd annual selections, we can expect films from all over the world that depict the humanity of queer characters and a line-up that includes features, documentaries, short films, and TV episodes of all genres. This year's films tackle pertinent topics such as immigration, trans lives, and queerness in different cultures. Festivals like OOF are necessary at this precise moment because audiences want exposure to content that centers LGBTQ+ perspectives. As more productions by queer people are finding their way onto platforms, the films are often obfuscuted. The LGBTQ+ festival circuit gives the opportunity to reach its core audience. 

Of all the ways to consume films and shows, nothing compares to the movie theater going experience. There’s delight in seeing images on a giant screen, especially those that reflect our own stories. It’s a time of escape but also a space to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. We celebrate triumphs, but let's not forget that the world is far from perfect. Queer films are part of a historical movement that calls for represenation in a larger context that looks at the good, the bad, and the ugly. Many of the films are provocative, unapologetic and express a sense of urgency.

Among a large list of fantastic films, these are the MUST SEES:

Portrait of A Lady on Fire by Céline Sciamma
Tue, Oct 1st, 7:00 PM @ Landmark Midtown Art Cinema
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caKdIT4rLTU

After genuine modern day queer narratives in films like Tomboy and Girlhood, director Celine Sciamma goes after 18th century France. Desire and passion clash in a love story for the ages. Marianne is a painter recruited to create a portrait of Héloïse a woman on the brink of marriage. This feverish tale will envelope you in an affair like no other. 

The Garden Left Behind by Flavio Alves
Sunday, September 29, 2019 5:00 PM
@ Landmark Midtown Art Cinema

Focusing much needed attention towards Tina, an undocumented Mexican transwoman, the film explores her struggle to exisit in contemporary New York City. A slew of fascinating characters emerge including her bewildered grandmother. 

Last Ferry by Jaki Bradley
Friday, October 4, 2019 9:00 PM @ Out Front Theatre
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IZYdCasLEs

A promising first feature from Jaki Bradley whose experience in stage direction will showcase dramatic oomph. Joseph is on a mission to explore his sexuality at the iconic Fire Island, NY. The problem is he shows up during the off season, a drastic change to the notorious party scene. An encounter with a stranger leads him to witness a murder. Paranoia ensues.

Knife + Heart by Yann Gonzalez
Saturday, October 5, 2019 4:00 PM @ Out Front Theatre
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6DVFhvs0AM

Yann Gonzalez’s films are a surreal experience, especially with a sparkling soundtrack by M83. Anne is a pornographer living in 1970s Paris, the epitome of cool. A breakup motivates her to direct her most promising picture yet. Except the lead actor ends up dead and she winds up entangled in a psychedelic mystery. 

Bille & Emma by Samantha Lee
Tuesday, October 1, 2019 9:15 PM @ Landmark Midtown Art Cinema
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3V3hA3kmk0

An advocate for wider glimpses of LGBTQ+ characters in cinema, Samantha Lee delivers a heartwarming tale. Two high school girls meet upon a chance pairing in 1990s Philippines; as they grow closer with each moment spent, love blossoms. Their relationship is further complicated once one of them discovers that she is pregnant. 

Queering the Script by Gabrielle Zilkha
Sunday, September 29, 2019 3:00 PM @ Landmark Midtown Art Cinema
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCX8Buvvo2c

In 1995, The Celluloid Closet traced the history of LGBTQ+ characters in cinema and their ongoing misrepresentation. Twenty something years later and the conversation is a little bit different as queer creatives take the reigns with many noteworthy contributions exemplary of shows like Pose, and Vida.

Changing the Game by Michael Barnett
Saturday, October 5, 2019 2:00 PM @ Out Front Theatre
https://vimeo.com/329699893

The world of sports has been difficult for trans athletes to navigate, as they are constantly being questioned about their role in the game. Follow three competitors as they battle the onslaught of negativity to gain a sense of selfhood and achieve positivity. 

Saint Frances by Alex Thompson
Saturday, September 28, 2019 3:00 PM
@ Landmark Midtown Art Cinema

The highlight of this film is Kelly O’Sullivan’s moving script and starring role. A restaurant server seeks a new job as a nanny to a lesbian couple. The kid she’s charged to care for ultimately makes her realize her own potential in this captivating drama that normalizes queer parenting. 

Song Lang by Leon Le
Saturday, September 28, 2019 11:05 AM @ Landmark Midtown Art Cinema
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX8nGJFGwaU

Set in 1980s Saigon, a young singer that is part of an opera troupe and a debt collector cross paths. As the two men’s relationship develops it uncovers parts of themselves they didn’t know. In an exploration of tenderness and affection unbeknownst. 

You Don’t Nomi by Jeffrey McHale
Monday, September 30, 2019 9:00 PM
@ Landmark Midtown Art Cinema

Often referenced as a staple of queer culture, the film Showgirls has its problems. Most notably its characterization as a flop or it's often cited mispronunciation (though intended) of Versace (Ver-sayce). Take a look at the films growing cult status with the cinephiles who adore it. 

Honorable Mentions: 

Before You Knew It by Hannah Pearl Utt
The Chunta by Geneveive Roudane
Bit by Brad Michael Elmore
Scream, Queen: My Nightmare on Elm by Roman Chimienti & Tyler Jensen

Check out https://www.outonfilm.org for details on many more screenings! 

WUSSY is proud to present new work by Atlanta’s own poet/playwright/photographer, Messiah Cristine. If you would like to send in a writing submission, please contact Nicholas Goodly.

Messiah Cristine is a poet/playwright/photographer based in Atlanta Georgia.

Nicholas Goodly is the writing editor of WUSSY Magazine.

Atlanta Pride is just around the corner, so of course we are back with an extra special lineup of events! This year, we are teaming up with our friends at For All Humans to bring you five uniquely Queer experiences.

In addition to some killer special guests such as Lady Bunny, Priscilla Chambers (Boulet Brother’s Dragula), and RuPaul’s Drag Race MVP’s like Alyssa Edwards, Tammie Brown, Tatianna, we are giving stage to over 20 of the best Atlanta kings, queens, and things ready to turn up Pride weekend.

We are super grateful to our generous partners and sponsors Tito’s Handmade Vodka, Red Bull, and Post Merdiem — a deliciously brand new canned cocktails company from right here in Atlanta .

Check out the lineup below and be sure to buy your tickets early while they still last!

Playhouse! with Alyssa Edwards

Thursday, Oct 10 at 8pm @ Buckhead Theatre

Join us for The 3rd Annual Bottoms Up Drag brunch, featuring Tammie Brown from RuPaul's Drag Race!

Performances from LaLa Ri, Diego Serna, Melissa Coffey, Brigitte Bidet, Molly Rimswell, Ivana Fischer, The Kourtesans, House of ALXNDR, EllaSaurus-Rex, + more!

Music from DJ Kimber (Nonsense ATL)

Thanks to our generous partners:
Tito's Handmade Vodka
Red Bull
Post Meridiem

Ticket Link
Facebook RSVP Link

The Bunny Hop! ATL Pride Kiki with Lady Bunny

Friday, Oct 11 from 9pm-2am @ W Atlanta Midtown

You're cordially invited to this special ATL Pride cocktail hour and social presented by WUSSY, For All Humans, and W Atlanta Midtown!

The legendary Lady Bunny will be joining us from NYC to host, roast, and toast with us!

Come grab a copy of the new issue of WUSSY featuring Atlanta's own Violet Chachki in an exclusive cover spread + Yvie Oddly + Brendan Maclean + more!

DJs :
Lady Bunny
Jash Jay

Hosted by :
Priscilla Chambers (from Boulet Brothers' Dragula)
Brigitte Bidet
D'Knighten Day
Jackson Rims Day
JayBella Banks

Ticket Link
Facebook RSVP Link

Bottoms Up! Drag Brunch with Tammie Brown

Saturday, Oct 12 from Noon-4pm @ Annex Bookstore

Join us for The 3rd Annual Bottoms Up Drag brunch, featuring Tammie Brown from RuPaul's Drag Race!

We're Serving You:
- Bottomless Bloody Mary's compliments of Tito's Handmade Vodka
- Bottomless Canned Cocktails from Post Meridiem
- Bottomless Red Bull to get you through this long ass weekend!
- Brunch Bar Buffet
- Lewk Photobooth
- Performances by Brigitte Bidet, Molly Rimswell, Iv Fischer & Tammie Brown!
- Music by DJ Ree de la Vega

Ticket Link
Facebook RSVP Link

Also be sure to check out these special events!

I spent a lot of my childhood wishing for things. One of the things I wished for the most was a mother who understood me. My mother and I differed on almost everything: religious beliefs, what clothing was appropriate to wear, and, most prominently, whether or not gay people were going to hell (her answer was a firm yes, and so was mine, albeit my agreement was only out of abject fear and ignorance). The latter affected me the most, because - surprise! - I’ve known since I was 10 years old that I liked girls. I didn’t have a term for my sexuality until I was 20, and came out to my then-boyfriend as bisexual (and coincidingly rejected God around that time as well). But I didn’t tell my own mother that I was bi until I was 31 years old. I’m sure you can imagine why.

I grew up in a small Southern town and felt like an outcast both in my home and outside of it. I searched for someone, something to relate to. I’m an only child, so I grew up watching a lot of movies - but they were never the movies my peers were watching. I distinctly remember watching a kid from my 5th grade class flouncing into a showing of Volcano while I probably went to go see Jungle 2 Jungle again, which is problematic on many levels, least of all being that Tim Allen is the hero in that movie - but I digress. I really wanted to fucking see Volcano, but couldn’t, because it was rated PG-13. By 1997, I was 11 years old (or nearly 11 years old), but I still couldn’t watch PG-13 movies. In fact, I couldn’t watch PG-13 or R-rated movies until I was in college. And I still lived at home in college.

Growing up, my story felt unique to me and of course, I know now it wasn’t. There was nothing special about my suffering. Kids bullied me for being smart, but they didn’t beat me up. My mother was strict and religious,  but she never told me to go into the closet and pray (ironic). But one scarring childhood doesn’t negate another, and my foremost fear from age 10 on was that my mother would find out that I found the same sex attractive. She didn’t of course, until I told her when I was a mother myself.

But before all of that, there was Sally Field. My ok-to-watch-movie-repertoire included Julia Roberts films (thank GODT for Runaway Bride) and Dolly Parton masterpieces (9 to 5, anyone?). So, it should come as no great shock that Steel Magnolias was one of those films that was in heavy rotation in my home. Julia’s smile lit up a room - I never saw what she saw in her on-screen husband. He seemed kind of useless. Dolly was beautiful and glamorous, and I had a huge crush on her. I wanted to be Olympia Dukakis when I was “old.” And I wanted a mother like Sally Field.

Sally Field’s character, M’Lynn Eatenton, is not an easy one. She spends about half the movie shitting on Julia Roberts’s character, Shelby. M’Lynn never approves of anything Shelby wants to do, largely due to Shelby’s diabetes and the fact that she’s prone to seizures (why was diabetes the “glamorous” disease of the nineties? It was threatening but not too threatening, and only skinny beautiful women seemed to have it). In fact, Shelby’s diabetes is apparently so bad that doctors told her she shouldn’t have children - but she does, anyway! What a rascal. As we all know by now (and if you don’t - SPOILER ALERT!), the can’t-have-kids-because-of-diabetes-combo eventually kills Shelby in a horrible scene involving dinner being left on the stove. That scene still gives me anxiety re: making sure I check the oven before I leave the house.

Back to M’Lynn: her overprotectiveness resonated with me, but for some reason, it’s easy to hold something at arm’s length and appreciate it for it is, rather than confront it head-on. So my secret love of women stayed inside of me, and I never fought against my own mother like Shelby did with M’Lynn. I was never open with my mother like Shelby and M’Lynn were, because despite of their many differences of opinion, the two were best friends. They told each other everything.

I never had any serious girlfriends, and I told myself if I did, I would tell my mother. I never did - I met my husband in 2011, and we’ve been together ever since. We got married (duh), had a kid - the whole nine yards. But anytime my mother made a passive-aggressive remark about queer folx - the people who were and are, my family - the seed of hypocrisy grew into a festering bunch of brambles around my heart, until I couldn’t stand it anymore and came out to her in an email. Much like my childhood, it felt much more dramatic than it was. I did it just before Thanksgiving. My mother wrote back and told me she still loved me. She said other things of course, but she said it twice: she still loved me. No matter what. It was my Sally Field moment. It was the unconditional love and understanding and friendship I had been craving my whole life and thought I didn’t (and would never) have. And, like growing up, it wasn’t as dramatic as I thought it would be. But that didn’t matter. Even at 31, even with a child and family of my own, my mother finally knew who I was. I had revealed what I thought she would consider the worst part of me, and it didn’t matter to her. My Bible-thumping mother, of all people! It didn’t make her hate me. It didn’t make her want to hit someone until they felt as bad as she did. Because she didn’t seem to feel bad. She just seemed to love me. And in that moment, I understood her, and loved her back, almost as much.

Join WUSSY on Sunday, September 22nd at 5pm for a special one-night screening of Steel Magnolias at Plaza Theatre, hosted by Molly Rimswell. Tickets are available here.

—

Anna Jones is a writer and producer currently based in Atlanta. She is the proud owner of digital copywriting agency Girl.Copy and independent film production company Tiny Park Productions. She loves a lot of stuff, but mainly: her husband, kid, and cat, writing and filmmaking, coffee and Diet Coke, millennial pink, sushi, gay stuff, and horror films.

*Spoilers ahead, clearly. 

All hail the golden era of television, when there are more roles than ever -- and these roles being meaty, full of depth, and varying -- for women. Not only do we love to see women, especially queer women, coming full-force to the forefront in this era of Time’s Up, but we also have to applaud and propel forward the female showrunners, creators, and directors who are finally coming out from behind the massive shadow of the white cis men who’ve been running the show for decades. 

One show that recently had me screaming “women’s rights!” in a way that I wouldn’t typically on a Tuesday evening, but am internally every goddamn day, is Harlots. Its third and final season premiered at the end of August, and I have to say that I’m still reeling. And it’s not just because Jessica Brown Findlay and Liv Tyler’s characters have a tender affair borne out of the trauma they experienced at the hands of the men in their lives, in addition to some repressed sexuality, but that does factor in. 

The show is set in the midst of the outrageous bawd culture of 18th century London, when women were at the helm of their own businesses and, as much as they could be, of their own bodies. Rather than what we’ve grown accustomed to seeing on shows like The Deuce -- that is, women being regularly preyed on, assaulted, abused, or killed by their pimps, their tricks, or both -- Harlots explores the underworld of necessary sex work for the lower classes, and especially for lower class women, from a perspective that makes them the calculated protagonists of their stories. 

Harlots isn’t simply a period piece about prostitution, it’s more so a show about empowerment and cunning at the hands of women with all the societal and judicial odds against them. Not to mention, the show was written, directed, and produced mainly by a female team, which is a rarity even in contemporary Hollywood. This is likely the reason for these characters being as dynamic as possible, as flawed and at times nasty as authentic human beings can be, and as truly badass as they possibly could be. 

The powerhouses at the center of the narrative is the Wells family. Margaret Wells, played by powerhouse herself, Samantha Morton, Charlotte Wells, played by the new Sean Bean of death reels, Jessica Brown Findlay, and relative newcomer, Eloise Smyth as the increasingly astute youngest daughter, Lucy Wells, are a force in this show. Their evolutions are at times careful, at times messy, and astounding to watch. 

It’s made clear that these women didn’t choose a life of sex work from the start. In fact, most of the conflict in the show derives from Margaret Wells longstanding feud with her former bawd, Lydia Quigley, played by British icon, Lesley Manville. There’s no sugarcoating it -- Lydia Quigley is as a bonafide bitch. The story of Margaret’s introduction to a life of prostitution is told over and over again in the show, so much so that both Lucy and Charlotte give eyerolls before the conclusion of Margaret telling it, but it makes it no less shocking -- Quigley handpicked Margaret when she was just 10 years old and sold her to her first cull (or trick) for a pair of shoes. 

But that’s just Margaret’s story. The show goes on to document many of Quigley’s horrific kidnappings of young women, both in the past and present. Quigley’s motivations are at times unclear, and throughout the show, they even shift. It’s difficult to decipher whether she believed that she was saving these women from a life of servitude and poverty, was fully aware of her wrong doings and addicted to the wealth and influence she had gained in noble society, or had been brainwashed from a life of repression, abuse, and sexual violence. 

As you can expect, most all of the characters in Harlots have experienced some type of violence, often at the hands of those closest to them. For example, Quigley’s early rape by her father hardened her -- she admits this as she watches her “mentor,” who in large part helped to faciliate this hardening -- choke to death on a fish bone. Oh, y’all thought this was a show about prostitutes setting aside their wigs for a quick lay? Nope. 

The sweetest relationship that come from shared trauma, from the want to be accepted as is, is between Charlotte Wells and Lady Isabella Fitzwilliam. Raped as a young woman by her psychopathic brother, Lady Isabella is rightfully distrusting of those around her, and reveals that she never had a sexual encounter besides that gruesome episode. Charlotte, who gets the most down on her own time of any character on the show, tries her hand at showing Lady Isabella the kind of love she deserves. But this short-lived tryst makes way for the foreshadowing of another major queer relationship after Charlotte’s untimely death -- Nancy Birch and Lady Isabella. 

Lucy Wells trajectory to being a big, bad, bawd, a position she pines for as the actual sexual aspect of being a harlot is repulsive to her -- which is probably something to do with her virginity being sold to the highest bidder, as well as her first and only love interest being a murderous sociopath -- sees her as the part-owner of a molly house. In the 18th century, a molly house was the name given to a bawdy house specifically for gay men. And it’s not lost on any of the characters that the legal charge for running a molly house is death. 

While a few of these harlots’ queer lives are kept underneath the surface for safety, their intimate feelings are no less enormous. Many of these characters long for not only a better life, but an authentic love, which to them seems impossible. The show goes about this search with the depth these characters deserve. There’s no rom-com will they or won’t they bullshit and for that, we are thankful. When Margaret Wells is supposedly hanged (though really in hiding in America), Charlotte and Nancy, a retired dominatrix, discuss the elusivity of romantic love in one standout scene. A bit condescendingly, Charlotte remarks that Nancy shouldn’t be giving advice on love she’s never been in. In true Nancy and exceedingly British fashion, Nancy says, “I loved your Ma, you c-nt.” 

For a dose of the femme power we deserve to see on TV, and some queer relationships that transcend the forbidden, hell, simply for fucking women doing it for themselves, watch Harlots. 

—

Dakota Smith is a poet, journalist, and right in the damn center of the Kinsey scale.
Follow her on Twitter: @Likethestates.

The way we present ourselves to the world can become an integral part of our identities. Societal standards of beauty--natural beauty at that--are a source of anxiety and dysphoria for trans and cis women alike. Too often we are told that our skin is too blemished, our hair is too unruly, and our natural, God-given features are too unkempt to be loved. The messages that cosmetic companies perpetuate against those without bump-less, flawless skin, force women to turn to makeup in order to conceal, cover up, and camouflage themselves. These messages have particularly influential effects on trans women who get socialized as male in public places. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love makeup! Makeup is therapeutic. It serves as a coat of armor against the longing, curious stares. The clock-y eyes and vindictive transphobes. It gives me a heightened sense of confidence to look and feel beautiful. However, it becomes an unhealthy coping mechanism when you cannot fathom the thought of leaving the house without getting done up. 

For a long time, makeup was my safety net. It was a mood enhancer, a confidence booster, and a defense mechanism. To go without it would mean jeopardizing my passibility and inviting threatening behavior from close-minded people. I couldn’t reason with ever leaving the house without a full face due to the way my natural state was policed and picked apart. So, I clung to my foundations and concealers, and highlighted on my self-assurance. I contoured away the telltale signs of my anatomy in order to feel secure in my appearance. Makeup took away from my confidence in the way I looked underneath it all.

Trans women are often bombarded with rhetoric that challenges our identity as it pertains to the way we look. Our authenticity is questioned and invalidated, as if we paint on our womanhood every morning. For some wrong reason, people think that trans women need makeup to read as women. In a world where acne-prone textured skin is masculinized and clear, smooth skin is feminized, it is hard for trans women to not want to cover up their imperfections. “Natural Beauty” often excludes razor bumps, hyperpigmentation, ingrown hairs, pimple scars, and any other marker of masculinity. It’s unfortunate that society discourages women from embracing their fresh face appearance, but it’s important to love the most base-level, stripped down version of yourself. 

Let it be known that a trans woman’s natural beauty is valid. 

Watch as culture editor Iv Fischer discusses the implications of natural beauty for trans women.

Freak Daddy is not here to be docile or demure despite what they may have been taught. The unveiling of their fresh music video is a clear indication that this electro indie newcomer will have an impactful career ahead. "Confetti” masquerades as a cabaret, a camp of dazzling domestication with precise timing by FD, whose charisma is on par with their strong songwriting skills. Hyper masculinity and femininity tense thru powerplay, providers in a plot of playing house, sizzling with psychosis. “Confetti” seems to comment on how hard-wired hetero cookie cutter roles are handfed to our assumed genders and the poison it creates in our interactions, how we relate and treat each other, and how we battle the genders within ourselves, all at once.

As the first release under the moniker, though active spanning many years prior, FD has had a close relationship with music since a young age, as one can easily ascertain from the slick and solid structure of the debut. Involved with a completely different community than the collective they thrive authentically and unapologetically within today, a huge wave of change revolutionized their life once they began to speak their truth. “After trying to come out since I was 18 years old, I decided that posting on Facebook would be the best way to rip the bandaid off to my conservative family and friends,” FD recalls. “Did I mention I also renounced Christianity in the same post? Spoiler alert: it was not well received.”   

As a genderfluid Nashvillian whose sound can be described as a mixture of industrial and EDM with a touch of hip hop, you would be surprised to connect the same person to traditional religion. Unfortunately for many queer people, sex-positive feminists or even those simply embracing alternate spirituality in the Southeast, FD’s story is a common struggle for many. Their YouTube channel sheds light on these experiences, speaking with equal parts strength and vulnerability in an apt expression of the trauma the Church brought about. Accounts of “deconversion”, non-binary identity and shadow work are in many ways acts of activism. “The goal of my art, whether it's music, my paintings, or the motivational videos I post on Instagram, is to create a safe space for people to fall back in love with themselves,” FD explains. Raised in Birmingham, AL, their only support systems as a child hinged on a strict upbringing that discouraged self-exploration. 

“Being different was not something my hometown celebrated and despite getting a development deal and moving to Nashville at age 15, the liberal nature of a music city was overridden by the Christian music world I was initially immersed in,” FD laments. “I spent years under the weight of purity culture (shame culture) hiding my body because I was made to believe my sexuality was dangerous. I also, in turn, hid my creative nature out of fear that it too would be deemed 'too much' or subversive.” FD swore off music when they lost their development deal at 17, sick of feeling like a disposable engine for profit by a vampiric industry of capitalists who prey off talent. They soon got back into the mode of teaching themself how to produce, spending late hours building beats, slowly actualizing a self-sufficient musical project. 

Photographer: Lauren Lundy

Then, sometime last year, at 4am on their brother’s air mattress in San Diego, CA, an update to their IG handle as well as distancing from their dead name, a simple but liberating act, carved out a clear path to freedom:  “I made the choice to stop hiding my true self out of fear. I started dressing more flamboyantly and felt so incredibly happy to be creatively expressing without self-judgment. The announcement of my gender identity had a domino effect bringing like-minded friends and artists into my life that opened doors and created a safe space for me to share the music I had been making in secret for years, something many people didn't know about me or had simply forgotten.” 

Nashville is by no means as queer accessible as larger cities, but a small group of folx have been working to create and support the few and far between queer spaces. “The queer community in Nashville is still very disconnected and I want to work to help change that in any way I can. I have thought about moving to bigger cities over the years but I feel like there is an opportunity here for queers to make an impact on the community in a big way,” FD says of their city. Their show series HIVEMIND is working to be a welcomed safe space for queers and allies and the FDC (Freak Daddy Cult) dress to the nines basking in the kindredship of these electric environments. Mixers like Pronoun Party, dance night BitchFit and FEMME mag seem to signal a growth for queer Nashville.

“Confetti” is a testimonial to challenging the roots of brainwashing and a brilliant display of a bright beginning for this thoughtful exuberant artist. “Releasing ‘Confetti’ was an act of radical self-love. I wanted to show what it was like inside my mind, the struggle between genders and the external societal narratives that shaped my understanding of myself,” FD explains. “I wanted to have a video that represented the non-binary struggle I felt but rarely ever see personified in art. I also wanted the chance to finally personally finance something and have complete creative control.” During Pride month, Freak Daddy’s vision for the production formed flawlessly in a one day shoot at Stormlight Pictures, directed by Logen Christopher. The cast and crew buzzed with enthusiasm and the final video has us wow-ed. We can’t wait to see what Freak Daddy does next, but in the meantime “Confetti” keeps us bopping with no signs of stopping.

Wardrobe: Andrea Kay
Creative Direction: Haley Noelle
MUA \ Hair \ Extra: Lauren Martinez 
Choreographer \ Dancer: Jackson Thrive
Dancer: Kris Koon
Key Assistant: Ash Grier
Model \ Extra: Bliss
Model \ Extra: Taylor Jensen
Suits provided by: Eric Adler
Dress \ Accessories by: Molly Green

Cartoon Network’s Steven Universe has always been Rebecca Sugar’s love letter to the queer community. The show has given us groundbreaking representation, casually normalizing gay love and trans identities and specifically highlighting non-binary characters. For once queer characters aren’t used as tokens. Sugar has created a narrative that positions our stories and unique struggles alongside the mental health problems that plague modern American culture. Even more impressive, these issues are packaged so openly and simply - they fit perfectly into a show geared towards kids.

Steven Universe The Movie continues to expand on this foundation with a refresher course on the show’s key tenants. The plot kicks off with vengeful gem Spinel’s attack on the Crystal Gems, which results in a factory reset of our heroes that can only be repaired by reliving their character development arcs.

Spinel’s silhouettes nicely inform her identities. They really showcase the SU team’s exceptional character design skills.

It’s kind of a genius move as it welcomes new viewers with a solid rundown of the Crystal Gems’ stories to date, reminds existing fans how far these characters have come, and demonstrates Sugar’s philosophy on healthy emotional behavior. Amethyst recovers via Steven’s reassured friendship. Pearl regains her self-confidence and Garnet rediscovers the importance of integrity, towards others as well as herself.

Name a more iconic duo. I’ll wait (for you to say Garnet).

Sadly, the cloyingly sweet Spinel has undergone this process in reverse.

The trauma inflicted upon her by Pink Diamond has emotionally damaged Spinel to the point that she doesn’t believe in friendship, integrity, or her own self-worth. Upon discovering she’d been abandoned and forgotten by the person she unflinchingly loved, Spinel sees her life as a cruel joke. The wrath of that epiphany carries her across the galaxy to attack those who were closest to Pink/Rose, and she gleefully erases Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl’s memories of Rose. Even more poignantly, when Steven hits her with the Rejuvenator, Spinel’s expression is one of joy as she thinks her trauma is being erased, although we later learn it was only compartmentalized.

Yikes. That painful smile may be the most chilling thing in the movie.

The crux of the movie, however, is Steven’s ability to change and grow.

In the past, whether it be his attitude or his approach, Steven has always been willing to give something or someone a chance. His unwavering belief in people to grow and change for the better lives in the show’s heart. It’s what allows him to connect with the devastated Spinel, even during her worst moments. It’s why his “weapon” is a shield and his powers are all related to healing and protection.

That neck seems to come and go, eh?

The movie’s climax is Steven’s realization that he has to direct that concept inward. His recognition that the work is never done is a message for all of us. Steven comments that even when he’s saved the universe, there will be times where he won’t be living in a “happily ever after” world.

It’s powerful metaphor from Rebecca Sugar, who wants us to understand that there will always be obstacles and challenges, and sometimes there will be setbacks. But like the Crystal Gems demonstrate in the movie, that’s when you lean on your friends, rebuild your confidence, focus on integrity, and change.

Now please enjoy this gratuitous Steg gif.

—

Adam Zee explains it all, even when no one wants to listen. You can voice your complaints or see Adam working out her issues via cardboard and cheap paint at @cardboardrealness. Honestly, she could use the engagement.

Modernizing classic stories is the name of the game in Hollywood 2019, and with that pre-existing framework, more vibrant and sophisticated storytelling can be explored-- ideally. Underrepresented experiences and identities can take the spotlight in ways they previously couldn't, thanks to our progressive reexamining of media. 

Being queer, I always hope for identities and experiences like mine and wildly different from mine to be seen, felt, and ultimately validated on the big screen. So when one of the biggest films of the year decides to take a chance on creating queer subtext that wasn't in previous adaptations of the book, there's a clear opportunity to enrich an already dense story. Golly, did It Chapter Two pop that balloon.

I won't mince words here; It Chapter Two was dreadful, half-witted, and upsetting. Stephen King is a god, obviously, but I've never sat at a beach long enough to read all 1,138 pages of his 1986 novel -- so it's not a matter of 'the book being better.' I've never seen the Tim Curry TV miniseries either, but I did see It Chapter One back in 2017. It was at the height of that Stranger Things-fueled 80s nostalgia. They even cast one of the kids from the show, and as I recall, It Chapter One was a more-or-less thrilling adventure horror film with a super-strong cast and perhaps too heavy a reliance on jump-scares. Nothing to really write home about, nor have I seen it since theaters, but since it made a bajillion dollars at the worldwide box office, the adaptation of the second half of the novel was greenlit and hit theaters earlier this September. Taking place 27 years after the previous films, the now-adult Losers Club reunite in Derry, Maine to keep their promise of defeating Pennywise if it were ever to return -- which of course, it did. 

But the thing with the book, the miniseries, and the first It film is that there was virtually no queer subtext. There's the child orgy in the book that people don't like to talk about. But, aside from the gay hate crime scene, which I'll get to, the book doesn't delve into any questions on sexuality at Derry or the culture at large, let alone between at least 3 of the main characters.  

-

Warning: Spoilers for It Chapter Two from here on out…

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It Chapter Two's opening sequence is horrifying. As it was intended, sort of. The film opens with a carnival sequence in modern day Derry with two gay men on a date. Side note: what is up with all the carnival settings in 2019? Us, Shazam!, Toy Story 4, Stranger Things 3, Euphoria, and It Chapter Two all have the same sort of carnival set; and I don't have a point to this, it's just something I've noticed. 

There's a lot of time spent with these characters; they're seen as sweet, romantic, and ambitious. They talk about moving to New York to get away from the small-town mindedness, but the joy fades when a young boy starts shouting slurs and assaults them. They get to flee, but just long enough to get outnumbered by more homophobes on a bridge who then proceed to beat the ever-loving shit out one of them and throw him off a bridge into a river. It's literally my greatest fear as an out queer person manifested on screen, but go off, horror movie. Scare me. 

And as the bloodied and beaten queer man gasps for air in a flowing river, we see Pennywise in the distance -- who then saves the man from drowning, but eats his heart out of his chest in front of his partner anyway. Awesome, I'm super entertained by this Hollywood blockbuster movie. I love it. Also, why is Pennywise going after adults now? I thought his whole thing was luring vulnerable children and not two ambitious gay men trying to live their lives. The 80’s setting of the book’s depiction of this scene also carried a lot more weight than a minimally-different same scene in modern day. It doesn’t translate the same. Whatever.

I checked out of the movie briefly, stepped out of it even, and examined if I was safely presenting myself to the world. The film continued on to paint other awkward and questionable pictures about queerness and how it pertains to three of our Derry losers: Richie, Eddie, and Stanley. 

As adults, Eddie marries a woman just like his overbearing mother. We're only given one scene with his wife, but the allusion is made clear and is reaffirmed when they're all together again in Derry -- also when he calls her Mama in a Freudian slip. Richie is a successful comedian who doesn't write his own material. Which confused me, since Bill Hader's Richie is cracking jokes at every single opportunity. And anxious, effeminate Stanley doesn't get much adult development other than his apathy at the vacation his wife just booked them, and deciding to kill himself once the call came to return to Derry. 

Now, in the scene where Stanley kills himself, he's brought back to his memories as a child (which according to the film he shouldn't even really have), looking in Bill's eyes and feeling some kind of way about it. Nothing is incredibly clear whether he's thinking about the promise he made specifically to Bill to return to Derry if Pennywise ever did, or if he felt he couldn't stand the thought of seeing Bill again. The film should be communicating the former, I think, but that wasn't a promise he made simply to Bill -- it was to everyone. So what was with the focused gaze on Bill, someone who hadn’t even called him and pleaded to come back to Derry? 

Much of the story is told through flashbacks and hallucinations. The film repeatedly holds our hands through each character's individual encounter with Pennywise, their childhood trauma, and how those memories manifested into the adults they've become. For Richie, Bill Hader's character, this was a scene at the local movie theater. Where he offers to buy another boy a game at the arcade, which the 12-year-old boy immediately assumes is a gay pass. Which, it might’ve been, but that would’ve been the first time we’d seen Richie even kind of seem like he likes boys. Which is fine, but like, movies usually foreshadow themes and subtext they want to illustrate. Anyway, the boy Richie sorta makes a pass at happened to be cousins with Henry Bowers; the film’s psychopathic character and trope for like, bigotry I guess?

Richie gets bullied out of the theater while being called just about every slur in the book. In tears, he finds himself at this giant Paul Bunyan statue in the middle of Derry. At that point it comes to life as both an unsubtle allegory for the constraints of conventional masculinity, and  an actual monster trying to kill Richie while Pennywise taunts him. He asks if he wants to play "Truth or Dare" and says something to the effect of, "you don't want to say truth, do you Richie?" The truth being, I think, Richie's possible queerness? The queerness that didn’t show up at all in the first two and a half hours I spent with this character in the first movie? If the film is forcing me to reach, it seems Richie uses comedy and insults, mostly towards his effeminate friend Stanley, as a defense mechanism for his own closeted sexuality, and that's actually really interesting and compelling! Props to the movie for even kind of setting that up!

Unfortunately, however, you have to actually resolve that storyline for it to mean anything. 

So, all of the Losers Club throw these ‘tokens’ as part of an ancient ritual said to rid Earth of whatever It is, each representing a repressed childhood trauma they’re letting go and moving on from. Everyone gives a little backstory, every token is touching and significant, except Richie’s. His is an actual token, from the arcade, but provides zero explanation to the group or audience of its significance -- which he’s mocked for. Nor even in further taunts from Pennywise was he ever able to explicitly come out, even to defeat a monster who is literally destroyed by truth, confidence, and declarative affirmations. Bill Hader’s Richie never once confesses that he’s gay, or that he loved Eddie romantically, even when Eddie was stabbed through the chest and killed by a Pennywise tentacle. If you ask me, that’s poor writing, poor theming, and poor filmmaking. 

Not everything needs to be laid out to an audience to understand it, I’m not averse to subtext, but when the foundation of your story is based on the overcoming of trauma, and every other trauma gets to be explored to its fullest, it’s more than a bit bullshit that there isn’t a satisfying moment for Richie to come out in a 3 hour movie that even opens with a pretty good reason to not be an out homosexual. 

There are a few reasons as to why this happened this way. If I’m looking to find excuses for a $250 million dollar movie’s shittiness, the chief reason is likely that international markets where homosexuality is outlawed either in its state or media need It Chapter Two to screen in those theaters, so edits are made so that the queerness of a given blockbuster film is suppressed to the point where it doesn’t impact it too heavily financially. It’s just not enough for me. You cannot show explicit queer violence while also doing everything you can to avoid showing explicit queer love. It Chapter Two is definitely the most disappointing, frustrating movie I’ve seen this year, and just the latest film to let down the Queer community.  

—

Tyler Scruggs is a writer, musician, and pop culture cosmonaut based in Atlanta.
@Scruggernaut on Instagram, @TylerScruggs on Twitter.

When you first lay your eyes on film director Xavier Hamel, you are welcomed by the softness in his own. His hair is buzzed to a three, dyed in a cheetah print pattern. He’s handsome, with an impressive mustache and remarkably pronounced ears. He’s got a timid smile to match the gentle air about him. There’s no escaping the trope here, he’s essentially a sweet Canadian teddy bear. His Instagram profile supports the image; it is a collection of selfies of himself in various states of undress, cuddling a different cat in every photo. 

This is unexpected, considering his films all deal with themes of strong violence – brainwashed groupies obsessed with a serial killer, a sex worker committing arson, and the murder of a woman that rocks a small town. Actually, the victims of the violence in his films are almost exclusively women. 

He’s directed about a dozen music videos for queer artists, and a handful of shorts in both English and French that have shown at festivals in cities across the world including Sydney, Tokyo, and his hometown of Montreal.

We had a sit down to connect the dots, and get the deets on his first feature film.

Hey Xavier. It’s nice to put a face to the name. Let’s jump right into it – tell me about how you ended up in LA.

Well I grew up in a suburban town in the south of Montreal. After I got my BFA in film production from film school at Concordia University, I worked in video stores, hanging around the horror section. In the meantime I made music videos for some local artists. At one point I suddenly developed a rare autoimmune disorder called Guillan-Barré syndrome. Basically my immune system was attacking my nervous system, and I was left disabled in a wheelchair, paralyzed for eight months. Facing your own fragility in that way is a serious reality check. I did a lot of moving around after I recovered. I came to LA for six months and fell in love with the city. I knew I wanted to settle down here eventually, but first I went over to Berlin for a stint. I really developed artistically and spiritually there. I kept riding the wave and decided to get my MFA at California Institute of the Arts, so now I’m here!

Wow, that’s quite a journey. It sounds like you really made the most out of what could’ve been a bad situation.

Yeah it could have gone many different ways, but I took those life experiences and channeled them into my work.


I can definitely see the horror inspiration from your video store days. Where else do you draw inspiration from?

My last film Rive-Sud is actually inspired by my hometown Longueuil. It’s a very quiet town that was shaken by a murder that happened some time ago.  I wanted to explore people’s reactions to it – the way tragedy shapes connections, and mourning builds intimacies. The lead character is based on my mother, actually. Though ultimately the character ended up being nothing like her and is more an invention of an artist. The film is a love letter to her, and an homage to my town. The characters in my films are generally mirrors of people in my life.

It’s interesting that you mention that, because all the characters in Rive-Sud are women. Actually, most of the characters in all your films are women.

Yeah my films are always about women! Personally, I have a big circle of girlfriends and I just connect more with women. There are also just so many films about men out there, and I think male characters are kind of just boring.

Rive-Sud is an intimate examination of the relationships between women, but still, in this film and your previous, the female characters are almost always the victims of serious violence. And some might argue that, especially as a gay man in the world today, subjecting women to this kind of graphic violence in your work only feeds the male gaze.  

Hmm. That is a really interesting point. I’ve never really thought about it. In my other films I was exploring topics I didn’t really know about but was fascinated with. The Last Roadkill is about three girls who are obsessed with a serial killer and agree to this suicide pact in his honor. It’s based on this serial killer Richard Ramirez who was a night stalker in the ‘80s. He had these groupies, women who were in love with him, ready to do anything for him even though they never met him. I was really fascinated with that transformation in the human psyche. How do people go from being one person one day, to swearing allegiance to a serial killer and committing crimes in his honor the next? My film ended up being a story about friendship and betrayal. You don’t really get to explore the intricacies of characters’ personalities in short films, but I do want to turn it into a full feature for that reason. I am a big fan of Brian De Palma, the director of Carrie. He was known for his love of women, but also criticized for his objectification of them and the violence against them he portrayed. I guess I don’t know exactly where it comes from for me – maybe it comes from the dark human impulse to destroy the things we love? Obviously I’m not a woman, so for me it is the study of something that is foreign to me. I know that it’s just my little gay perspective on it. 


Do women collaborate on these projects with you?

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A post shared by Catdaddddddy (@catdaddddddy) on Mar 23, 2019 at 9:31am PDT

Oh yeah! Absolutely. All my films were produced by women, except maybe my first in undergrad. Actually the Last Roadkill was shown at the Final Girls Film Fest in Berlin, which is a festival that showcases horror cinema by women. Both producers were women, and the cinematographer, the costume stylist and female actors too. There are so many talented females in the industry that just aren’t hired. I’m not being original here, but it’s true - every time I’m on set and not directing, it’s always men in the light department  and camera department and women are stylists or hair dressers or makeup artists. It’s so tired. I was on a set a few months ago and the whole crew was men. I spoke to the producer and was like, “You make the decisions and you are surrounded by men.” I think I read a statistic that right now 4% of movies that get released, are made by females. There were twelve women and six men in my class at CalArts - where do these women go after school? 

Sounds like they can count on being a part of your next movie! What projects do you have coming up?

My main focus is a feature I’ve been writing for the last few years about a gay sex worker living in the underbelly of society who burns down a john’s house. I’m going to this writing retreat in New Mexico next year and I have a producer attached to the film. My last music video, Jove Jupiter’s Materialistic, touched on the same themes so I got to explore this world in three minutes. It was a new experience because the central character is male, which I’d never done before. But besides the feature, I have a production company called After Hours studio that I founded with my friend who moved here from Beirut, Sarah El Khawand. We alternate between directing and producing. So far we’ve only worked with LA based queer artists, but we’re excited for everything coming up.


Cool, we’ll keep our eyes peeled. Thanks for the chat @catdaddddddy. So you really like cats huh?

I love them! I cat-sit at different houses often and use the time as mini-writing retreats. They keep me company. I’m a cat whisperer.



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Photography : Luka Booth @Lukabooth
Model/ Director : Xavier Hamel @catdaddddddy
Writer : Danny Qiblawi @dqibb
Producer/Groomer : Mike Fernandez @ojosexo using MAC Makeup and Evo Hair Products

Danny Qiblawi is a NYC based storyteller, published in the likes of Vogue Arabia and TimeOut magazine. When he’s not writing or art directing, you can catch him on the dance floor of a House party or tending to his flock of backyard chickens.

There’s nothing more debasing and absurd than the bluntness associated with Grindr speak. People typing out messages with their dicks in their unoccupied hands means a lot of wild texts. There are messages that might prompt discomfort if the sender decides to revisit them after he shoots his (or her, or their) load. There are messages that would make unexpecting hetero’s jaw drop. There are messages that would make you roll your eyes and throw your phone down in protest of the grimness of it all.

It’s long been documented that people communicating online are harsher than when they’re speaking in person, and the proliferation of nudes on Grindr does little to discourage the casual air we use while we discussing each other's bodies, sexual desires, or even emotional needs.  

These casual yet poignant messages are the subject of the art Instagram Gaytona Beach. Digital artist Andrew Harper adds Grindr text bubble from real conversations to thirst traps, with the occasional landscape thrown in. While scrolling one immediately is reminded of the dissonance between seeing beautiful bodies and ugly messages while being on the app. 

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A post shared by Gaytona Beach (@gaytona.beach) on Jul 9, 2019 at 8:51am PDT

At times funny, serious, Gaytona Beach’s collages are starkly indicative of the mental headfuckery of being gay online. We asked Harper about how his work started, its political potential, and queer censorship on Instagram. 

How did the idea for the Instagram Account come about?

The idea for the account (or project as I call it) began when I was in school for photography and living in Daytona Beach. At the time, circa 2013-14, Grindr was my main source of exploring what I thought it meant to be gay. Being out in Daytona meant knowing that you had to be aware of your short length, your voice inflection, even seemingly small things like what glasses you wear - and I was used to this. What I wasn’t used to was how that seeps over into gay culture too, and it became quickly apparent on Grindr where faceless profiles would join in and tell me I was a queenie fag or that I was going to have the shit beat out of me on Seabreeze Blvd if they ever saw me. It was shocking to me at first, so I started saving conversations and showing my friends. One day, I thought it’d be funny to overlay a particularly funny message onto a photo I took of a large crowd of spring breakers - and the rest is history.

How would you describe it to someone? 

I usually tell people it’s a collaborative project that explores what we say to each other online. 

via @gaytona.beach

How has it changed your experience of Grindr/Scruff ?

I get a lot of questions about it on there now - I also have met some really cool people with it. Sometimes people specifically ask me not to use any of the conversation, and then other times people want to be on the page. As far as using Grindr/Scruff for hookups and dating, it hasn’t really changed much.  

What's your goal with the account?

My number one goal always has been and always will be to have fun with it. I honestly use it as a way to get better at digital art too - I’m constantly challenging myself to make more visually interesting images. I recently met a goal I’d had for months which was to create videos and gifs, and it took me forever because I had to teach myself how to make them. I’ve also had a goal for a while now to have a Gaytona Beach party - and that’s something that’s likely to happen very soon now. I’d also like to put together a book or some kind of print at some point - but I’m not sure how far off that is.

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A post shared by Gaytona Beach (@gaytona.beach) on Jun 25, 2019 at 3:14am PDT

How do you engage in politics with your work?

I’ve begun to use the space to talk about something that’s important to me and the community the project targets which is access to HIV treatment and prevention. I’m part of the group PrEP4All which advocates for affordable and accessible PrEP to everyone who needs it and also do some ground-level work in the area at my job. Being able to communicate important pieces of news, answer any questions people may have about things like copays, or engage people in the conversation has been invaluable. I’ve even used the page to personally connect people with affordable testing sites and clinics.

What prompted you to add the Instagram Censorship screen to your more recent posts?

That’s been so much fun - I added those to posts occasionally to remind people that Instagram is a private platform that dictates what it thinks is appropriate vs. inappropriate. I think it’s insane that Instagram has not only made it impossible to be a successful artist without an account, but has also monopolized the photo-sharing market globally. I don’t believe that one entity based in Silicon Valley should have the authority to tell people what instances of nudity are not appropriate for their eyes - we should be able to make that decision ourselves. Sex sells and it always will - images that tiptoe community guidelines get immense amounts of engagement through the algorithm, and certain accounts are allowed to tiptoe those lines further than others. Instagram community guidelines enable a form of vague censorship that is damaging to the trans community as well as to queer artists. 

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Mo Wilson is a writer and sometimes DJ living in Brooklyn. He also throws indie rock/punk shows with the booking collective Booked By Grandma and loves plastic jewelry. You can find him on Twitter @sadgayfriendx and Instagram at @djgaypanic

iStock / nito100

So. 

You’re a trans person considering medical transition and you need a few tips on how to get started? 

Well, it’s your lucky day!

From my life to your computer screen, here’s a trans girl’s guide to medically transitioning as efficiently and stress-free as possible.

It’s been 3+ arduous, exciting, confusing, scary, and rewarding years of me trying to crack the code that is the American medical institution. And while things have been far from easy, I wouldn’t trade my time spent on chasing after my happiness, and my contentment in myself, for anything in the world. 

Now, I’m not gonna lie. The road toward living authentically hasn’t been easily paved for girls like us. There will be hoops to jump through and hurdles to overcome. You may experience some occasional transphobia or general rudeness from those “professionals” who have predisposed beliefs about your body and your choices. You may get told one thing, and have to go through 5 or 6 other steps to get to that point only to have a door slammed in your face. 

It’s tough.

But that’s, like, the fun of it all! Fighting to get to that sweet spot in your transition of just *being*, holds major BDE. And always remember that there is no finish line. This is no race. You get out of a transition what you put into it, so take your time, babe! 

Therapy

I have one thing to say: therapy. Get into it, girls! Time to identify your traumas and develop healthy coping mechanisms!

Many people are aware that transitioning involves some form of therapy, whether it’s related to your gender identity or overall behavioral health. But, a lot of people are unaware that therapy acts as the first step in starting your transition.
Going to therapy is the key to receiving letters of recommendation for HRT, gender-affirming surgeries, name changes, and more. 

Many states offer free/affordable or sliding scale gender therapy that’ll put you on the right track to getting that coveted hormone prescription. You just have to be willing to talk to someone about your concerns. 

Psychologytoday.com has a unique database that allows your to filter your search for therapists in your area. I would highly recommend finding trans-friendly medical professionals who’ll steer you in the right direction. 

And if they refuse to give you the help you need, guess what you can do?

Find another therapist!

There are many therapists that’ll try to cast judgement and use restrictive ideologies to keep you from transitioning, but those fools don’t get the final say. 

There are loopholes for everything, so take every closed door as a sign to seek an open one. 

Socially transitioning

If you are in a position in which you simply cannot afford the cost of therapy, try socially transitioning first. While it does help in getting things started, going to see a professional isn’t the end-all-be-all. 

If you are in a safe and comfortable environment to do so, play with your appearance! Experiment with your exterior! Do everything that you can to transition, up until the point of taking hormones (because that’s just the icing on top of the cake, anyway).

Before I was able to move out and kickstart my medical transition, I would buy clothes that made me feel good. I told my friends to respect my newly-minted pronouns. Everyday, I took the steps I needed to take in order to feel even 0.5% less dysphoric, because I knew that these things would improve my self-esteem. 

Don’t be afraid to do whatever it is that you need to do to feel confident in yourself. 

Hormone Replacement Therapy

If you’re anything like me, getting on hormones is *the* moment you’ve been waiting for. 

I remember watching hundreds of “___ month Hormone Update!” videos on YouTube, longing for the day that I would be able to experience the bliss of watching my body turn from a cage into more of a home. 

And while going on HRT is in no way a requirement for being trans, there are cheaper alternatives for those who feel it’s necessary in keeping dysphoria at bay. 

So, once you get your letter of recommendation, head to an endocrinologist. 

Do not self-medicate. 

Do not self-medicate.

Do! Not! Self! Medicate!

Seeing a doctor can be expensive for those without insurance, but please go about your transition safely. Like I said, there are loopholes for everything, and you don’t have to go to the highest-rated hormone doctor in your city to get quality care.

I actually started taking hormones through my school’s clinic. There, they did all my bloodwork, talked me through my options, and gave me a prescription which I could then take to a local Walgreens to fill. Due to my lack of insurance, I did have to pay out of pocket, but there are a few organizations/groups that sponsor people’s transitions to cover expenses like these.

https://jimcollinsfoundation.org/

https://lalgbtcenter.org/health-services

And in some cities and states, like New York, there are programs in place that are designed to fully cover the cost of medical transition. Tap into those resources, request to be apart of queer-friendly Facebook groups, and reach out to others in the community who can point you in the right direction. 

Surgery 

Undergoing gender-affirming surgeries might be one of the hardest things to tackle as a trans person. From finding trans-friendly doctors, to finding insurance companies that’ll help cover your procedures, this entire process is a real doozy. 

And while, admittedly, I don’t have the answer to getting everything covered, there is one tip I’ve learned to keep hope alive in the face of adversity: appeal the s*** out of whatever decision doctors/insurance companies make against the progress of your transition.

Now that I think about it, a lot of the steps in my medical transition have felt like the college application process. I have had to write letters, present documentation, and prove to several institutions that I deserve whatever it is that I’m asking for. 

The system is designed to make things hard for trans people seeking medical help, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. 

Look into what your insurance will cover, and what they won’t. Chances are if they cover the cost of one procedure, you can collect recommendation letters and doctor’s notes to make a case for why you need extended coverage.  

Don’t take “no” for an answer. 

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The ins-and-outs of medically transitioning are complex, but simple at the same time. It can definitely be a headache, (I got one just thinking about all the things I’ve had to go through) but it’s worth it in the end! Remember that transitioning is an on-going thing, and that whatever dream isn’t manifesting for you right now, can absolutely be your reality in the future. 

Stay strong :*

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Ivana Fischer is the Culture Editor of WUSSY and a film and media enthusiast who specializes in cultural studies. You can find her across all socials @iv.fischer